RA is seriously messing up my life

I have nothing upbeat to write today other than I am out of the bed for the first time in two days. A flare has hit again right in the middle of so many things that have to be accomplished.
Still waiting for the methotrexate to kick in along with my Enbrel.
I am just extremely depressed I can't do so many things.
Just venting.
Hope your day is better.

Enbrel and Methotrexate

First I'd like to say I hope if you're reading my blog, ever, I appreciate your interest. Because of other bloggers I have found a lot of helpful information, the latest information has taken me back to my rheumy and back to methotrexate.

It seems I can't manage without additional medications. I tried Enbrel alone, off of everything else and it wasn't enough to keep big flare ups from occurring.

Three weeks into Enbrel and Methotrexate.

Just wanted to update.

I also want to say the commenter's, however many there are of you, posting porn links in your comments is just sad. Of course I hope I have blocked such idiots like you.

Anyone suffering with RA and related diseases I wish you the best.

Friday Feb. 5, 2010

My New Year celebration for the last 6 years has started off with a bang of RA issues.

I was diagnosed 5 years ago this past week.

My birthday is tomorrow. I will be 52.

I went to my Dr. Wednesday and have decided I need the methotrexate along with the Enbrel. I hope I don't lose hair but at this point I just want to feel better.

My vanity is starting to look different. Age and medical issues will take care of that.

I have been away for a while. I just could not think of anything to write about. With it being February 1 and my birthday just a few days away, I thought I should put something up.

It has been a struggle with my last flare. I finally took the dose pack of prednisone to get some relief around the holidays. However, it has returned. The stiffness is worse than ever.

This week marks my fifth year diagnosed. I am taking Enbrel and I have an appointment with my Dr. Wednesday. I know I am going to have to try something else. I did not lose all of my hair with preds or metho but enough to make me unhappy. I hate to add them to my meds again but I possibly will.

It is so difficult to have a mind that wants to move in forward motion and I find I can hardly move from stiffness. I woke at 5 am ready to go this morning but my body was not ready.

It never did get ready today. However, I did finish 1/3 of the wall I have been painting the last week. That really made me happy. Right now I expect I will be spending a lot of my time in this room and it needs a new look. Going to downsize some material items I do not need and putting no dust collectors back in that I can live without.

Today, I have stiff thumbs. My hands and feet ache and are stiffer than they have been in a long time. A warm shower has been a highlight in my day.

Hoping Wednesday I will be more open to trying other meds if I need to.

Cozy 21st Century Style

Today I awoke with too many things on my mind. I just wanted to stay under my electric blanket. Two years ago, I was so cold, ached, you know where... from the top of my head to my toes. I could not keep everything warm. I could not get comfortable to rest and I needed rest. I bought an electric blanket and some days I do not want to come out from underneath. I feel like a kid again and just want to stay. Pull the blanket over my head, no one knows I am here and I can stay until… I have no other choice.

If RA is not giving you that warm and cozy feeling in life anymore, get an electric blanket.

For Today

Today I will take everything as it comes to me. I will be present, something I do not always do. My RA is flaring and I am trying a new approach after speaking with my Dr. Actually, I never speak to my Dr., not over the phone. Don't you like the leave a message and someone will get back to you? Then a nurse will call and document your symptoms for the Dr. and will get back to you in 24 hours. Okay.

My RA flare question. Can I get through this without prednisone? I was surprised at the answer, it was yes. So I can get through this like cleaning the house? I do not do that very well, but I will try it.

So today, I try to be present in the pain and listen to my body. I want my old body back please. Aging is one thing but the last 10 years have just been one thing after another. Stroke... healed sort of. RA...chronic. Cancer...benign. Depression... chronic. Depression is tougher with the RA.

What can I do different today?

I want to put together a Lego block something.

Something I said because I do not know what it will turn out to be.

Why use Legos? Well, they just snap together and voila… I don’t know, because I have them already, and life I want to be a snap.

I am really struggling with many issues and you know how people buy stars, bricks, and stuff to represent someone’s life or something. After a recent conversation where I was reminded, reminded, not the first time someone has to remind me because I have a very thick head, that you build a house one brick at a time. There is a foundation and mine is just not getting as far as I would like it to be. Therefore, every day I am going to place a Lego together and see what happens. I am going to let it represent the "Present" in my life. Maybe some days will get more than one Lego added. I hope so.

I think I will put one block for me and add a few more for all the special people in my life. Yeah, just a symbolic thing but who knows what it will be.

Thanks Dawn.

RA and my first day blogging

This is my first blog about RA. Not sure what to blog about but I did get up this morning. Actually, I am having a flare and trying to decide on "a plan of action". Sometimes getting up lately has been just that. I have had to make simple to do lists, and I mean simple.

My list today:
Take Medicine (most important to remember)
Eat (I can actually forget to do this when I'm all caught up in the pain)
Get Decent (lately I haven't cared to put on makeup and that's not me)
Meet Sister (we are going to spend some time together)
Pickup Son at School (his new Xbox was just delivered... homework issues later)
Make a Fabulous Dinner (if my hands are not hurting too much)
Relax (maybe play with my new camera)

Imagine the possibilities! Have a good day!